Can't Stop
by Alice in Plaid
Summary: Okay, so Chelsea's a little bit crazy but who couldn't love the girl? Heck, even Vaughn doesn't seem to mind her... that much.


So new story yeah? I actually have no idea where this came from. I really wanted to write something but my other two unfinished stories are kinda crap and I'm feeling too lazy at the moment to fix them up. :) I'll admit. I wrote this in like, an hour, at about four in the morning. It seems that that's the time I get everything done. So this is just gonna be a weird crack fic. Most likely.

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HARVEST MOON, HARRY POTTER, STAR WARS, ETCETC, YOU GET THE POINT.**

* * *

><p>"Hey." No response. "Hey Vaughn." Still nothing. "VAUGHN." The grumpy cowboy glared at me.<p>

"What do you want?" I wasn't too surprised by the brusque tone. I groaned.

"Look buddy, all I had to say was that Mirabelle wants you. No need to be snippy."

"Hmph." I scratched the back of my head sighing at my dear friend's behavior. I watched as he walked off the beach in the direction of the Animal Shop as I pulled my handy-dandy fishing rod out of my rucksack. My mind started to wander as I cast a line. _Why does Vaughn seem even pissier than usual? How do I fit so much stuff into my rucksack? It kind of reminds me of something you'd read in a Harry Potter book. Weird. Maybe if I find another super special awesome bridge and have Gannon fix it it'll lead to Hogwarts… Oh my god, new goal! Gotta write that down…_ However I was pulled out of my plotting in it's crucial moment by a tug on my fishing rod. Excited, I quickly began to reel in whatever was on the other end of the line just hoping it wasn't another rubber boot. Or pair of swim trunks. More specifically, Taro's swim trunks. Not a pretty sight. And I speak from experience.

"Chelsea! Hey girl hey! I love you!"

"Lanna why are you on my fishing line? And stop using two exclamation points after every sentence. You don't even know how freaking annoying that is." I glared at her as she hung with her infamous vice grip off of my line. _Lame, she didn't even get caught on the hook. If she snaps my rod, swear to Goddess…_

"Oh just taking a swim and figured I'd say hi! And don't be such a meanieee, I'm a pop star you know! Secretly I know you love me too!" I smirked at the girl with my specialty 'don't count on it' face and released my reel, sending her plummeting back into the waves before quickly reeling in before she could take a chance to grab back on. With that I wandered off the deck only to be stopped by Denny.

"Oh hey Chelsea what's going on?"

"Not much. Saving up to build a bridge to Hogwarts, I think I upset Cowboy Gramps more than usual, and I just went fishing and caught a 5"1 inch Lanna."

Denny nodded thoughtfully taking all this in. "Oh hey, I know why Vaughn's mad at you! I forgot to tell you! While I was fishing the other day I saw you give him a carrot from your ranch, yeah, haha. Vaughn hates carrots. And when I say hate I mean Jacob versus Edward kind of hate. Or better yet, Jacob fan versus Edward fan kind of hate. Or better yet-"

"Denny. Why."

"…" Denny looked at me horror-stricken for a moment before thinking up the response of a true genius. "YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE!" This was followed by a mad dash back into his shack accompanied by some waterworks.

"Such a pain in the ass that one is, am I right?" I stared shocked at Denny's freaky, talking little bird before it flew off to catch up to its owner. I shrugged. Hey this is fanfiction, what more could you expect? Putting that aside I decided that I might as well get the Vaughn problem out of the way. I might be a bitch but I still expect these people to like me, afterall, I'm amazing.

_QUANTUM LEAP WHAT A GRAND SITCOM_

"Chelsea! You sarcastic bastard! What brings ya here?" I grinned at my close friend Julia sitting on the counter while Mirabelle jammed to some obstruct Indie group behind her. Noticing me walk in she waved cheerily before starting back up her crump-fest.

"Hey Mirabelle and oh hello my fair lover, just came by to profess my love to you for the eighty-second time this week. Marry me?" Julia smirked at me before crossing her arms and waving me off.

"Oh Chelsea, you know that Elliot and I made for each other so you needn't even bother asking for my hand."

I snorted. "Juliaaaa he's such a pus-" I was cut off by a sharp glare. "Twat? No?" The glare still didn't approve. "Wimp? Ah whatever, I'll stop bothering you about it but just know that that boy does not deserve your crazy huge boobs. Only I do. But that's beside the point." Mirabelle decided to step in.

"Now I just want you two to know that I'll accept you no matter your sexual preference. Julia, did you know that your father was actually bisexual? Yeah, we did lots of experimenting through college-"

"MOM. I'M NOT A-"

"I'm just trying to say that I'll love you no matter what sweetie, you too Chelsea, you're like a daughter to me-"

"Way to go Chelsea, now my mom is convinced that we're lesbians. Hope you're happy. Oh my god, what if Elliot hears about this? Chelsea, you sarcastic bastard, why does this kind of stuff always happen when I hang out with you?" Julia groaned rubbing her temples while Indie rock still pounded in the background.

I laughed and mimicked Lanna from earlier, "Meanieeee, I know you secretly love me!" _Oops! I almost forgot what I came here for!_ "Oh hey. Vince Vaughn. Sorry I forgot you were there the whole time. Buck up and get over the fact I gave you a carrot. You're acting like a PMS-ing brat." He scowled at me from his corner.

"Takes one to know one…" All three of us girls cracked up at his pouty face. I slapped his back.

"Wow, I figured that a guy like you could come up with something better than a Charlie level diss. Guess you proved me wrong." Looking slightly embarrassed he tipped his hat downwards to cover his eyes and rushed out of the shop.

_PLUCK._

I grabbed my chest and looked around the room along with Mirabelle and Julia confused by the noise and sudden pain. Shocked, Julia's hand shot up to her mouth and she stared at me.

"Oh mylanta… Was that just… A twinge of guilt? From Chelsea? The heartless cynic? Mom, confirm this for me!" Mirabelle nodded, equally in shock. I shook my head vigorously.

"Um, no! Twinge of guilt? Me? Pssh, pfft, ha, no! No way! You guys crazy? Since when can anyone hear twinges of guilt anyway? Huh? That was just me practicing my mini guitar! It's really tiny and hard to see so don't make fun of it! I sold my left kidney to pay for this thing! Umm-" I stopped my rambling and ran out the door flushing in anger. _No one makes this chick guilty. _Seeing Vaughn headed for the beach yet again I sprinted to catch up.

I pulled my fist back. He turned his head curious of the footsteps behind him. And POW, delivered right to the face! Yeah what's this sucker gonna do now?

_PLUCK._

_Oh why did I do that? _

**Shhh! He made you feel guilty, he must be plotting something! **

… _Why is there a voice inside my head?_

… **These are not the droids you are looking for? **

_Look whatever I just have to get rid of this annoying plucking noise! _

**Right with you sister! **

… _Shut up Obi Wan._

"Oh- What the- What the hell?" I came back to my senses and stared at a hunched over Vaughn, holding his hands to a bloody nose and blackened eye. Huh. Two birds with one stone? "What is wrong with you woman?"

"You- You made me feel bad! I should be asking what is wrong with you!" He gave me an incredulous look. "… Okay. I don't know exactly what came over me. I'm-I'm sorry."

**OH MY MILLENIUM FALCON ARE YOU CRAZY?**

Without thinking twice, I smashed my knee into… well… a place most uncomfortable to have a knee smashed into, causing him to double over in pain.

_PLUCK._

His crumpled form looked up at me from my feet with a look of understanding.

"I get it now, you are such a crazy, crazy bitc-"I glared to cut him off, "You are so messed up that you've never felt guilt before and now that you have you're letting it out on me!" He looked pissed and I rubbed my forehead. "I'm charging you for all this I hope you know."

_YEAHQUANTUMLEAPYEAHHH_

_PLUCK._

"Okay, so I watched this movie last night and got this great idea…" I looked nervously at Vaughn sitting from across the room glaring at me. His nose hadn't stopped bleeding but I was forty percent sure it wasn't broken so I figured I could do something about it. He was just going to have to deal with the black eye though.

_PLUCK._

I gritted my teeth and tossed the white bandana and vest back into the stain remover solution in my sink to take care of the blood.

_PLUCK._

"You're guilt is annoying. Why does it have to be so loud." I sighed and nodded my head in agreement and walked across the room with a small box to make use of the aforementioned idea.

"Okay, hold still for a sec…" With two quick hand movements the two white objects were up his nostrils and I took the bloody paper towel he had been holding before to protect his button-up shirt.

"… What did you just put up my nose?" I looked at him.

"…"

**Way to go young jedi. Just try to get yourself out of this one.**

_Shut up Obi Wan…_

**M-hm, yeah may the force be with you too… Bitch.**

_Fine I'm glad you got killed by that ugly guy!_

"Chelsea…" I inhaled at his warning tone.

"Fine. You know what? You're just as bad as Obi Wan! Okay, yeah, I put tampons up your nose! Get over it!"

"… What." It was a staring contest. Hey, he hadn't taken them out yet though. "Ugh. Whatever. I'm going home. Bring me my clothes tomorrow." At this he got up tampons and all and headed for the door.

"Wait but I have to pay you!" Unbelievable, Vaughn forgot about money?

"Forget about it." I couldn't believe my ears.

The door swung closed and I grinned looking around my house.

"Haha okay, am I being punk'd? Come on out Ashton! Ashton! ... Ashton?"

* * *

><p><strong>Love me?<strong>


End file.
